Lewis Mooney & Ed Cole with Brian Billow

Original by Airloaf

Rip-off by Lewis Mooney & Ed Cole, directed by 

Brian Billow.

Exactly what sort of cunts are Lewis and Ed?

If at one end of the scale there's the immaculately folded,

origami cricket made of parma ham kind of cunts, then 

they're right at the other end; disemboweled rat 

splayed on a dissecting table infested with blow-fly

egg-sacs kind of cunts.

Nauseating abominations of atrocities that barely 

qualify as vaginas at all kind of cunts.

Because not only are they your standard-issue

thieving adland wank baskets, they're also totally 

oblivious to what's good about the object of their 

plagiarism.

What's so brilliant about Baptazia is (of course) the

ecstatically amazing dancing and the sublime 

finesse with which the footage is cut to the soundtrack.

Only a pair as clueless, crass and basic as Lewis 

and Ed could think that the humour lay in the mere 

juxtaposition of a church service with drum and bass.

And only a pair as arrogant as them would imagine

that they'd get away with it; some Baptazia clips have 

over a million views on YouTube.

Lewis. Ed. You are mega-cunts, meta-cunts, cunts so

wide a squirrel could windsurf across you, so deep you 

go back in time and fuck yourselves with turds from the 

future.

Cunts cunts cunts cunts cunts cunts cunts cunts.

Cunts

Ben Tollett, Emer Stamp, Steve Wioland and Matt Woolner

Original by Micaela Trani and Antonio Gigliotti

Rip-off by Ben Tollett, Emer Stamp, Steve Wioland and

Matt Woolner

Call them thieving cunts if you like (they're on 020 3077

1027) but there's no denying their resolve.

Having failed to flog their client a rip-off of a music video

(see previous post), Adam & Eve's steadfast rejection

of creative integrity wins the day as they finally convince

John Lewis to buy a rip-off of an advert instead.

The original shows the progress of a little girl to a

brunette woman, soundtracked by 'Always a Woman'

courtesy of Billy Joel.

The rip-off, which Adam & Eve maintains is in no way

influenced by the original, shows the progress of a

little girl to a brunette woman (and beyond to old age)

soundtracked by 'Always a Woman'.

Coincidence or cunt incident? Based on Adam &

Eve's previous form I think we all know the answer to

that one.

I'd like to see a a 90 second clip showing the

progress of the creatives from the moment they

received the brief, to the client presentation in which

they claimed a stolen idea as their own. It could be

soundtracked by 'Always a Cunt'. I think that's the B-side

to Uptown Girl.

Ben Priest

Original by Oren Lavie, Yuval and Merav Nathan

Attempted rip-off by Ben Priest.

Oh fuck. 

If anyone caught 'Inside John Lewis' the other day 

on the BBC, they'd have witnessed Ben Priest

showing all the world what a colossal vagina he is. 

On the program, the marketing manager of John

Lewis goes to Adam & Eve to see their new 'ideas' 

for the John Lewis Christmas campaign. 

In the presentation, Ben shows the marketing man

a clip on YouTube of this promo:

According to the voiceover, Ben has been 'inspired' 

by it.

Really? 'Inspired' as in 'influenced'? As in 'has had 

his own imagination sparked off by it so that he 

conceives something of his own?

Oh right. 'Inspired' as in 'saved the embarrassment 

of trying to have his own idea and failing so utterly

that he wonders why the fuck it says 'creative' on 

his ridiculously inflated pay slip, or why he even

bothers to breathe, the cunt'.

Now I see. 

Having shamelessly presented somebody else's 

work in the meeting, Ben then goes on to present

a series of executions ALL OF WHICH ARE

IDENTICAL TO THE VIDEO, except that instead

of objects relating to the track, the objects are

presents from John Lewis that the sleeping 

people are dreaming of. 

So basically, the promo but with a John Lewis

logo and the end. 

Fortunately, the marketing man doesn't like the

idea, thereby thwarting Ben's attempt to do his job 

without doing any work.

But still, fucking unbelievable.

I suggest a new program; 'Inside Ben Priest'. 

With the barrel of a loaded revolver pressed

against his clammy temple we force Ben to snort 

a tiny camera up his stupid face, whereupon the 

miniature device searches his entire body for any

shred of creativity. When, after years of navigating 

shit-clogged arteries it finally discovers a creativity

gland as shriveled and useless as an 

octogenarian's cock after a three day bath in cold

piss, we beam the footage to every household in 

the land before blowing Ben's brains across the 

keyboard of the laptop on which he spends his 

days sifting YouTube for ideas to steal and his 

nights trying to yank some life into his jaded cock. 

Absolute fucking universe-enveloping cunt.

Mark Biernacki and Steph Mackie & Rob Purnam

Original by Pleix

Rip off by Mark Biernacki and Steph Mackie & Rob Purnam

Here's Rob the director droning on about his fucking dog food advert as if it's the opening titles of Raging Bull, the twat:

"The ‘Catch’ spot was to be a series of shots of dogs looking with anticipation as a piece of dog food is flying through the air towards them. We shot close-ups of the dogs at 1000 fps. The result was really wonderfully anthropomorphic. The super slow motion really captured this intense sense of desire in the dogs’ eyes. To me it was equal parts awe inspiring and hilarious to see so rich a palate of personality in a dog’s facial expressions. A few days after the shoot I started to get emails from Mark, Steph and the editor Chris Parkins with the different iterations of the spots cut to different music selections, all of them interesting for different reasons. But then they put footage from the two spots together to form this new greater whole that really exploits the dynamics of the dogs’ athleticism and their emotive personality in slowed time.”

"The super slow motion really captured this intense sense of desire in the dogs’ eyes."

IT'S A FUCKING ADVERT! 

FOR FUCKING DOG FOOD!! 

EVERY FUCKING ASPECT OF WHICH YOU STOLE FROM A MUSIC VIDEO!!!

Next time you want to give your fucking slow-motion wonder-gizmo a whirl, film THIS: someone capable of original thought carves the script for a dog food ad onto a Lego brick and launches it out of a dog's arsehole. As it arcs through the air - and you, Mark and Steph simultaneously stop massaging Pedigree Chum into each other's hairless ball-bags and gaze up with desperate drool-chinned craving at the only original idea you've ever been within twenty feet of - the super slow-motion can capture the intense sense of desire in YOUR fucking eyes.  

!!!CUNT!!!!

Andy Amadeo

Original by Simon Faithfull

Rip-off by Andy Amadeo

"We weren't saying that the innovation was sending the

balloon up. No one had done it in HD before and not as

an advert before. We didn't use a music sound track or 

any celebrity voices. That's the innovation. The fact that 

we created it as an advert".

That's what Andy said when confronted with the fact that

his ad is the antithesis of innovation on account of it 

being a re-enactment of something that had been done 

5 years previously, rather than the embodiment of 

innovation as was his intention. 

The shit-burgers at Grey are adamant that Simon 

Faithful was 'part of the team' on the Toshiba ad. Strange,

then, that he's not mentioned in any single piece of their

publicity or supporting material. 

Here, for your amusement, is Andy Amadeo - the 

blathering cunt-eyed shitwhistle responsible for stealing 

Simon's idea - pretending to have had an idea of his own:  

Surely a far more interesting project would have been to 

tether Andy to a balloon that would take him into the upper

stratosphere and see what effects the change in 

atmospheric pressure would have upon his brain?

Perhaps, just before he exploded his brain would become

sufficiently deformed from it's usual shape to produce an

original idea?

Or perhaps not.

Truly, here is a cunt so massive that it's clitoris has it's

own moon.

Cat Campbell & Jo Wallace

Thanks Matt & Dave for this impeccably researched guest contribution:

 

 

Original by Brad Bird

Rip-off by Cat Campbell & Jo Wallace (‘creatives’ and directors) at Quiet Storm

  

Cat:  “Hey Jo, I’ve just had a really good creative idea for the Richmonds ad!”

 Jo:  “Ooh, what?”

 Cat:  “Have you seen Ratatouille?”

 Jo:  “Yeah, who hasn’t?!”

 Cat:  “Well you know the scene where Anton Ego has a childhood flashback?”

 Jo:  “Yeah?”

 Cat:  “That!”

 Jo:  “Wow! Genius!”

This pair of utter cunts have not only ripped off the idea of this brilliant scene from Pixar, they’ve even copied the execution. They obviously weren’t even creative enough to come up with a different way of filming it, so just used the exact same camera effect for the flashback. They might as well have just stolen Pixar’s footage and superimposed Richmond sausages over the ratatouille.

On the website of Rushes - the post-production company - the VFX artist says:

“This was all about the counter zoom... the Directors, Cat and Jo, wanted more control of the distance we travel in the zoom.”

Of course, the concept wouldn’t have worked if it wasn’t exactly like it is in the movie.

These idiots deserve to have their eyes forked out so they can never again sodomize the world of film.

‘The taste that takes you back’? 

Yeah, to the last time you watched Ratatouille.

Fold 7 & Timeslice Films

Original by Denis Darzacq

Rip-off by Fold 7

Spank my face!

Fold 7 have opened new frontiers of plagiarism with this outrage . This really is beyond parody. Here's how these self-lubricating fuck sticks describe their ransacking of Mr. Darzacq's oeuvre:

"In November 2008 Cat Footwear approached Fold7 to develop their first global communications campaign. Fold7 created a concept entitled ‘Earthmovers’, which became the new sentiment and brand direction for Cat.

‘Earthmovers’ is more than a campaign. It represents a change in direction for the Cat Footwear brand. With a fresh and diverse product range from new designers, Cat Footwear aims to engage and attract a new and larger consumer audience. ‘Earthmovers’ supports and visually defines this movement, designed to turn consumers’ and retailer’s heads alike and to challenge their perception of the brand."

'Earthmovers' certainly is "more than a campaign". It's a fucking disgrace.

I have it on extremely good authority that the makers of these ads approached Mr Darzacq and asked him if he'd like to adapt his own work for commercial purposes. 

He declined. 

And the rest is entirely predictable advertising cuntery.

But the cunt deepens - check this out:

http://www.timeslicefilms.com/?p=2025

Behold the vast, canyon-like, sun-swallowing vaginas that are Fold 7 and Timeslice.  

Good luck Mr Darzacq. 

I look forward to the reading about the legal dispute in Creative Review. 

Henry Challender & Rob Archer with Nick Jones (director)

Original by Noel Fielding & Julian Barratt 

with Paul King (director)

Rip-off by Henry Challender & Rob Archer 

with Nick Jones (director)

Jesus fucking Christ.

Mother & Garth Jennings

What the fuck were they thinking?

Anyone's who's ever seen Flight of the Conchords will

immediately clock this as a blatant rip-off - right down to 

the glasses-and-sideburns styling of the Jemaine-a-like

and the Kiwi-accented sign off. 

And 'anyone who's ever seen Flight of the Conchords' is 

exactly who this ad is aimed at.

We can only assume they were hoping to get caught. 

Like serial killers who deliberately leave incriminating

evidence with their victim's corpse. Except instead of 

a hair or a glove, these cunts have left a trail of tepid 

shit leading from the crime scene straight to the Tea 

Building where the trail climbs the wall and spells the  

words 'we are thieving cunts' in fifteen foot high daubs 

of anus-paste.

***UPDATE***

Thanks to 'the worried well' for this titbit:

"The guy with glasses and sideburns is Kiwi stand-up

Jarred Christmas, he was a recurring character on the

FOTC show on Radio 4 and a friend of the guys from 

their New Zealand and Oz circuit days."

Not a friend any more, I'm guessing.

Gary Turner & Jamie Marshall and Mark Denton

Original by Lejo

Rip off by Gary Turner & Jamie Marshall (creatives) and 

Mark Denton (director)

You pile of unfathomable cunts. Try doing this with your

fingers - pick up a pen, then place the tip on a blank 

piece of paper, then have an original idea, then write it

down. In the likely event that you fail to have an original

idea, simply reverse the pen in your grip and lower your 

eyeball onto the tip. Then continue to lower your eyeball 

until you are blind. Then continue until your are dead.

Thanks.

Cunts.

Jacqui Paterson & Jessica Harold and Dael Oates

Original by Oren Lavie, Yuval and Merav Nathan

Rip-off by Jacqui Paterson & Jessica Harold (creatives) 

and Dael Oates (director)

I'd been meaning to post this one for a while but couldn't 

track down the guilty parties. But then I received a 

message from Ben at stuffbenfound.blogspot.com who 

delivered not only the team and the director, but 

everyone from the account managers to the animators, 

all served up like a vertiable cheese board of cunts. 

Cheers Ben.   

Agency: The Campaign Palace, Melbourne
Creative Director: Gerhard Myburgh
Creatives: Jacqui Paterson & Jessica Harold

Director: Dael Oates

DOP: Peter Eastgate

Animator Designer: Matt Boug
Animators: Lewis Morley 
Production Company: PRODIGY
TV Production: Fiona Gillies
Exec Producer: Jonathan Samway
Account Management: Jayne Driver, Georgie Brown, Laura Bathurst

Marketing Analyst: Belinda Symes, Brian Carlin, Marianne Kevric

David Bertram & Leo Berne and Matthijs van Heijningen

Original by David Fincher (director), Jim Uhls 

(screenwriter) & Chuck Palahniuk (author)

Rip-off by David Bertram & Leo Berne 

(creative team)and Matthijs van Heijningen 

(director)

Isn't it amazing the number of advertising cunts 

whose 'love of film' translates into stealing from

films they love?

Why do they do it? 

Because it's the closest to filmmaking they'll

ever get. The equivalent of a stalker 

snatching knickers from a washing-line to be 

wanked over in the cold night, dead-nerved 

cock lubricated by tears of self-disgust.

Absolute cunts.

Flo & Pet and DSG

Original byTaijin Takeuchi

Rip off by Flo & Pet (directors) and DSG (agency)

Here's Flo & Pet's utterly pathetic attempt to defend their plagiarism of 'A Wolf Loves a Pork':

"While we were looking for a way to realise a story describing 'a journey through time' based on printed images, we were inspired by Mr Takeuchi's brilliant work. For this reason we intentionally quoted his work in our little movie while showing full respect to his original idea. We didn't mention his name because we did not want to do so without his prior agreement. However after considering some of the comments posted here we have decided to add credits to him and his work, which we obviously absolutely love."

You absolutely love it, do you? Do you really? 

Do you absolutely love your dog? Do you piss in it's eyes when it greets you at the door? Do you funnel liquid concrete down it's yap-hole then hurl it out the window and await the squelch of it's impact, idly toying with your jaded orifices while perusing YouTube for more things to steal? 

If you absolutely love something, you don't abuse it. You respect it. You know that. We know that. So please spare us this simpering drivel. 

Gargantuan cunts, one and all. 

Neil Raphan & Ken Opalsky

Yet another Blu rip-off, this time by Neil Raphan and Ken Opalsky.

There seems to be some controversy over who 'directed' this travesty.

Apparently it is definitely NOT TokyoPlastic.

So says 'FlyingGiraffe'. While denying Mr Plastic's involvement in this audio visual gang rape, Mr Giraffe also took the time to defend his right to plagiarise it should he wish to:

"Blu was offered the opportunity to direct the film before it was put out to pitch to other directors."

Interesting argument. Now consider this: 

Me and Blu are coming round your gaff later. We're going to stab you in the eyes with an assortment of increasingly thick frozen turds until you are blind. Then we're going to ram the very thickest one down your cock-end until it bursts like a fisted mouse.

OK? You cool with that?

Or you can do it yourself and we'll just watch. 

What's that?

You don't want anyone to ruin your eyeballs and genitals with ice-hard shit-chisels? They belong to you and it's your decision what happens to them?

Well we're going to do it whether you like it or not. 

And that's just tough shit. 

Or frozen shit to be exact. Although it does soften after it's been down your urethra for ten minutes or so.

Imbecile.