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Thursday, 21 October 2010

Steve Grime & Fabrice Ward and Dan Sumich

Original 1 by Blu

Original 2 by Slinkachu

Rip offs by Steve Grime & Fabrice Ward and Dan Sumich

And here we have a campaign for child protection in which each execution is a rip off of a different animator's signature style. What next? Tiltshift-style footage of an underage prostitute hustling in downtown LA? Or perhaps a Wallace clone weeping into his tea as a young boy's voiceover recalls a Wendsleydale-lubricated arse-raping courtesy of his canine sidekick?

And Dan, you directed this did you? Of course you did - who could fail to recognise the unmistakable Dan Sumich touch? OK, here's what you do: watch this -

Now, rip it off. You'd be about the eighth cunt to do it which seems to be your modus fucking operandi. But instead of stop motion footage showing you curled up on a bed with an array of nick-nacks drifting past you in a whimsical evocation of a dream, film yourself spasming in agony as an endless barrage of objects tears you to fucking shreds.

Come on Dan, really; what is the point of you? Ever think about that? Who needs Dan Sumich? Advertising doesn't need you - it's heaving with plagiarists as it is, and most of them are younger and better informed than you. You're not even the first fucker to pinch Blu's style. Art doesn't need you - you've proven that you're totally bereft of creativity. And humanity doesn't need you - by all accounts you're an intolerable, self-adoring cunt-mouth who openly brags about stealing other peoples ideas.

You're as much use to the world as a mixed bag of labial surgery off-cuts. Fuck you.

Tuesday, 8 June 2010

Lewis Mooney & Ed Cole with Brian Billow

Original by Airloaf

Rip-off by Lewis Mooney & Ed Cole, directed by 
Brian Billow.

Exactly what sort of cunts are Lewis and Ed?

If at one end of the scale there's the immaculately folded,
origami cricket made of parma ham kind of cunts, then 
they're right at the other end; disemboweled rat 
splayed on a dissecting table infested with blow-fly
egg-sacs kind of cunts.

Nauseating abominations of atrocities that barely 
qualify as vaginas at all kind of cunts.

Because not only are they your standard-issue
thieving adland wank baskets, they're also totally 
oblivious to what's good about the object of their 

What's so brilliant about Baptazia is (of course) the
ecstatically amazing dancing and the sublime 
finesse with which the footage is cut to the soundtrack.

Only a pair as clueless, crass and basic as Lewis 
and Ed could think that the humour lay in the mere 
juxtaposition of a church service with drum and bass.

And only a pair as arrogant as them would imagine
that they'd get away with it; some Baptazia clips have 
over a million views on YouTube.

Lewis. Ed. You are mega-cunts, meta-cunts, cunts so
wide a squirrel could windsurf across you, so deep you 
go back in time and fuck yourselves with turds from the 

Cunts cunts cunts cunts cunts cunts cunts cunts.


Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Ben Tollett, Emer Stamp, Steve Wioland and Matt Woolner

Original by Micaela Trani and Antonio Gigliotti

Rip-off by Ben Tollett, Emer Stamp, Steve Wioland and
Matt Woolner

Call them thieving cunts if you like (they're on 020 3077
1027) but there's no denying their resolve.

Having failed to flog their client a rip-off of a music video
(see previous post), Adam & Eve's steadfast rejection
of creative integrity wins the day as they finally convince
John Lewis to buy a rip-off of an advert instead.

The original shows the progress of a little girl to a
brunette woman, soundtracked by 'Always a Woman'
courtesy of Billy Joel.

The rip-off, which Adam & Eve maintains is in no way
influenced by the original, shows the progress of a
little girl to a brunette woman (and beyond to old age)
soundtracked by 'Always a Woman'.

Coincidence or cunt incident? Based on Adam &
Eve's previous form I think we all know the answer to
that one.

I'd like to see a a 90 second clip showing the
progress of the creatives from the moment they
received the brief, to the client presentation in which
they claimed a stolen idea as their own. It could be
soundtracked by 'Always a Cunt'. I think that's the B-side
to Uptown Girl.

Tuesday, 16 March 2010

Ben Priest

Original by Oren Lavie, Yuval and Merav Nathan

Attempted rip-off by Ben Priest.

Oh fuck. 

If anyone caught 'Inside John Lewis' the other day 
on the BBC, they'd have witnessed Ben Priest
showing all the world what a colossal vagina he is. 

On the program, the marketing manager of John
Lewis goes to Adam & Eve to see their new 'ideas' 
for the John Lewis Christmas campaign. 

In the presentation, Ben shows the marketing man
a clip on YouTube of this promo:

According to the voiceover, Ben has been 'inspired' 
by it.

Really? 'Inspired' as in 'influenced'? As in 'has had 
his own imagination sparked off by it so that he 
conceives something of his own?

Oh right. 'Inspired' as in 'saved the embarrassment 
of trying to have his own idea and failing so utterly
that he wonders why the fuck it says 'creative' on 
his ridiculously inflated pay slip, or why he even
bothers to breathe, the cunt'.

Now I see. 

Having shamelessly presented somebody else's 
work in the meeting, Ben then goes on to present
a series of executions ALL OF WHICH ARE
IDENTICAL TO THE VIDEO, except that instead
of objects relating to the track, the objects are
presents from John Lewis that the sleeping 
people are dreaming of. 

So basically, the promo but with a John Lewis
logo and the end. 

Fortunately, the marketing man doesn't like the
idea, thereby thwarting Ben's attempt to do his job 
without doing any work.

But still, fucking unbelievable.

I suggest a new program; 'Inside Ben Priest'. 

With the barrel of a loaded revolver pressed
against his clammy temple we force Ben to snort 
a tiny camera up his stupid face, whereupon the 
miniature device searches his entire body for any
shred of creativity. When, after years of navigating 
shit-clogged arteries it finally discovers a creativity
gland as shriveled and useless as an 
octogenarian's cock after a three day bath in cold
piss, we beam the footage to every household in 
the land before blowing Ben's brains across the 
keyboard of the laptop on which he spends his 
days sifting YouTube for ideas to steal and his 
nights trying to yank some life into his jaded cock. 

Absolute fucking universe-enveloping cunt.

Thursday, 11 March 2010

Mark Biernacki and Steph Mackie & Rob Purnam

Original by Pleix

Rip off by Mark Biernacki and Steph Mackie & Rob Purnam

Here's Rob the director droning on about his fucking dog food advert as if it's the opening titles of Raging Bull, the twat:

"The ‘Catch’ spot was to be a series of shots of dogs looking with anticipation as a piece of dog food is flying through the air towards them. We shot close-ups of the dogs at 1000 fps. The result was really wonderfully anthropomorphic. The super slow motion really captured this intense sense of desire in the dogs’ eyes. To me it was equal parts awe inspiring and hilarious to see so rich a palate of personality in a dog’s facial expressions. A few days after the shoot I started to get emails from Mark, Steph and the editor Chris Parkins with the different iterations of the spots cut to different music selections, all of them interesting for different reasons. But then they put footage from the two spots together to form this new greater whole that really exploits the dynamics of the dogs’ athleticism and their emotive personality in slowed time.”

"The super slow motion really captured this intense sense of desire in the dogs’ eyes."




Next time you want to give your fucking slow-motion wonder-gizmo a whirl, film THIS: someone capable of original thought carves the script for a dog food ad onto a Lego brick and launches it out of a dog's arsehole. As it arcs through the air - and you, Mark and Steph simultaneously stop massaging Pedigree Chum into each other's hairless ball-bags and gaze up with desperate drool-chinned craving at the only original idea you've ever been within twenty feet of - the super slow-motion can capture the intense sense of desire in YOUR fucking eyes.